


they are boyfriends, your honor

by That_Adorable_Fox



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Depression, Dieting Mentions, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Fluff, M/M, Trans Saihara Shuichi, also shuuichis parents are a pair of assholes sorta, idk what else to tag lol, just a bunch of tooth rotting fluff, just in case, not rly but like, self care bitch hell yeah, vent fic?? idk anymore lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 10:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Adorable_Fox/pseuds/That_Adorable_Fox
Summary: Shuuichi's having a tough day, and Rantarou knows how to help.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	they are boyfriends, your honor

Shuuichi was never very fond of himself.

Perhaps it stemmed from the little comments and jabs he would see in the comments of one of his parent's social media posts about him. Someone, somewhere, always commenting on his pretty eyes or pale skin or his nervous tics, ever since he was born. 

Perhaps it stemmed from the various diets his mother would enthusiastically show him, squealing about liquid meals and twelve hour fasting that confused him as a toddler. Or, maybe, the various fittings where fashion designers would measure his body and stick out the top of their lip as they tutted something about going a size up.

Or, perhaps, it stemmed from the moment all of that was suddenly taken out of his life, when the paparazzi’s cameras still tried to take photos of him even though his arms were wrapped around his head and the camera lenses couldn't see through the tinted car windows of his uncle’s cadillac. 

Everything, and then some, boiled in a pot of social anxiety and a hint of depression was the mess that was Shuuichi Saihara. 

He bit on his lip as he stared at himself in the mirror. The bathroom was still foggy and misty from the hot shower he had just taken. Secretly, Shuuichi had hoped that the mirror would be too foggy for him to get stuck in this state of self loathing, but, sadly, it wasn't.

Gosh, his hair was getting long, wasn't it? He should cut it soon, before another breakdown comes. 

Had his eyes always looked this tired and grey? His sleep schedule was messed up, but if anything, he was getting  _ too _ much sleep. 

Was his body always this small, but too big at the same time? Maybe his mother was right about liquid diets… 

Was his chest always this…this…feminine…? 

No, no. Can't fix that. Just look away for now.

He was already feeling awful, and he hadn't even looked below his hips today. Anything between his legs and everything else was just a pandora’s box of dysphoria and dysmorphia alike that he couldn't handle today. Perhaps he would never be able to handle it….

“Shuuichi?” Rantarou’s smooth voice came through his door, a series of gentle knocks following. “Are you in there?”

“A-ah, Rantarou!” Shuichi jumped, grabbing a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. He longed for his binder, but he had gone to sleep with it on and didn't want to risk his health anymore than he already had. He tugged the clothes over his body, completely forgetting about drying himself off before he answered the door. “Yeah, I’m here!”

Rantarou was dressed in his usual outfit, however he was wearing a navy blue beanie and a different assortment of jewelry. 

Shuuichi suddenly felt very embarrassed at his choice of clothes. 

Rantarou’s smile dropped a bit, and he looked concerned. 

“Hey, what's wrong?” He asked softly. “You look tired.”

Shuuichi’s gaze dropped to the floor. “You can tell, huh…” He stiffened when Rantaro’s warm hand settled on his shoulder. 

“Do you want to cancel our date today?”

“...date…?” Shuuichi blinked. 

_...wait _ . __

“O-oh god, Rantarou, I’m so sorry I completely forgot-” He could practically feel the regret tears brewing behind his eyes.

“Hey, it's alright.” Rantarou smiled gently at him, stepping into the dorm and closing the door. “Lets just take an easy day, huh?”

Shuuichi was about to object, but Rantarou’s hand on his shoulder was so warm, and his eyes were already starting to slip closed again. 

“I...I’m so sorry I forgot about our date.” He muttered as Rantarou guided him to his bed. The two sat down, and Shuuichi leaned against his boyfriend. Rantarou’s hand moved down his shoulder to rub his arm. 

“Don’t stress about it. I just want to make sure you’re here mentally before we do anything fancy, okay?” Rantarou smiled. “I was waiting outside for a bit, but once the clock hit one-thirty, I knew something was wrong. You’d never be that late without a reason.”

“I…I don't have a reason, though.” Shuuichi muttered ashamedly. “I guess I just…spent too much time looking in the mirror. That sounds so narcissistic, doesn't it?” 

Rantarou hummed in thought, slipping his shoes off before laying on the bed, Shuuichi cuddling up to his chest. “I don't think so.” Rantarou said quietly.

Shuuichi let out

a soft sigh before closing his eyes again. Rantarou’s heartbeat was a familiar pulse he was able to focus on, the warmth from his boyfriend’s strong build enveloping in a cocoon of protection and love.

“...Are you alright, Shuuichi?” Rantarou asked, rubbing his back. “You’re really out of it today. I asked Kaito about you, and he said he’s been texting you nonstop but you didn't reply.”

“Oh…” Shuuichi let out another sigh. “I was…taking a shower? Then I looked at myself in the mirror and…I guess I started dissociating. I didn't realize I was out for that long.” 

“Do you think talking about it would help?”

“I…don't know. There isn't much to talk about. I just remembered my parents and their photo shoots and…other things.” He muttered. “And it made me feel bad about myself.”

Rantarou hummed. “Ah, I see. I’m sorry, Shu.”

“I’ll be okay.” Shuuichi closed his eyes again. “Thank you for being here, Rantarou.”

“Of course.” Shuuichi felt a gentle kiss pressed to the top of his head. “I’ll do whatever I can to get you feeling better. Which will start with a quick nap.”

Shuuichi smiled. “Thanks, ‘tarou.” He said quietly. Rantarou’s chest rumbled as he chuckled, rubbing Shuuichi’s back comfortingly.

“Of course.”

~

When Shuuichi woke up next, Rantarou had gotten out of bed. Shuuichi mourned the loss of his boyfriend’s warmth only for a moment before Rantarou came out of the bathroom holding a hairbrush. He smiled when he saw Shuuichi’s pouting face.

“Morning, Shuu. Well, more like afternoon.” Rantarou sat on the bed behind Shuuichi, and the latter sat up. Black dots and a strong dizzy spell clouded his vision, and he felt Rantarou’s hands on his shoulders, steadying him. A cold water bottle was pressed into his hands and he unscrewed the lid, drinking some of it.

“Morning.” Shuuichi smiled back at Rantarou, chuckling tiredly. 

“Are you feeling alright?” Rantarou’s gentle smile had turned into a worried frown from the dizzy spell. 

“Yeah, I’m alright.” Shuuichi hummed, capping the bottle again.

“If you’re sure, do you mind if I brush your hair?” 

“Go ahead.” Shuuichi nodded and turned back around. The calming feeling of the brush’s bristles combed through his tangled hair, and he closed his eyes.

“Did you have anything to eat today?” Rantarou asked, gathering up Shuuichi’s hair and putting it in a tight ponytail. 

Shuuichi felt his face heat up in embarrassment, and he had to stop himself from looking down so Rantarou could work on his hair. “N...no…”

“Alright, then the cafe will be our next stop. Turn around for me?” 

Shuuichi shifted so he was facing his boyfriend, hoping he didn't still look too embarrassed. 

“Hey, don't feel ashamed, Shuuichi. I know these things can be hard, that's why I’m here to help.” Rantarou lifted Shuuichi’s chin up to look him in the eye. Shuuichi blushed more and looked away as Rantarou began to brush out his bangs.

“I...thank you, Rantarou. I’m sorry you have to take care of me all the time.”

“I don't mind, I just want you to know that I’ll always be here for you.” Rantarou pulled out some hair clips from his pocket and clipped Shuuichi’s hair into place. He smiled. “You look adorable.”

Shuuichi blushed, looking down. Rantarou laughed and scooted off the bed. 

“Alright, let's get you dressed.” 

“Hm? Are we going somewhere after all?” Shuuichi looked up following Rantarou to his closet. 

“Not if you don't want to, but one of the best ways to turn a bad day into an okay one is to get dressed up.” Rantarou smiled at him. “Shall we pick an outfit for you?”

Shuuichi looked into his messy closet. “I might need your fashion advice but… Why not?”

Half an hour later, Rantarou had finished getting his boyfriend ready. He smiled, bringing Shuuichi back to the mirror. 

“Are you ready for the grand reveal?”

“I-I’m not sure.” Shuuichi laughed nervously, his eyes still closed. 

“I’ll count down for you, okay? Three, two, one.” Rantarou squeezed his hand, and Shuuichi opened his eyes.

And did a double take.

Make that a triple take.

If Rantarou wasn't the Ultimate Adventurer, perhaps he could be the Ultimate Fashionista.

An oversized, long-sleeved navy blue shirt hung loosely around his torso, loose enough to hide the uncomfortable roundness of his chest. The collar of his dress shirt folded nicely over the neck of the blue shirt. One of Rantarou’s necklaces peeked out from under the collar, dangling around his neck. Black, ripped jeans stretched over his legs, ending with a cuff at the bottom. One of Rantarou’s belts held up the jeans, a chain adorned with little crystal keychains attached to the belt. His makeup was light, a little bit of eyeliner, a little bit of glittery eyeshadow, and a little bit of blush. Rantarou had pinned back his hair with light blue flower clips, the hair tie in his ponytail sporting a similar charm.

“...do you… not like it?” Rantarou fidgeted nervously with his hands. “I tried to do something simple, since that's usually your vibe but-”

“No, no!” Shuuichi shook his head, hugging Rantaro tightly. “I love it! I love it so much Rantarou!”

Rantarou blinked, then laughed. He hugged Shuuichi back, kissing his forehead. “Well, good. If you’re happy with that, then lets get some food in you. There’s a new cafe-restaurant that opened up a block or so away from here, and if you’re not too tired we can walk. It's a beautiful night.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Shuuichi looked up and smiled, hoping Rantarou couldn't hear the quiet grumbling of his stomach. “What's it called?”

“I don't quite remember, I just know what it looks like.” Rantarou squeezed his hand. “I think I remember the way there. Ready now?”

Shuuichi nodded. The two left Shuuichi’s apartment, hand in hand. Shuuichi squeezed Rantarou’s hand, remembering back to when the green-haired boy told him about his lost sisters. Since then, Rantarou had never let go of his hand, no matter where they were going. 

It was comforting, in a way. Rantarou would always be there for him.

Shuuichi looked up at his boyfriend’s face, his green eyes searching the streets for the right sign and directions. Hopefully, he knew Shuuichi would be there for him as well.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ah, that ending was sudden wasn't it. lol my motivation ran out by that point, sorry!!


End file.
